Some Funny Lawyer Jokes

11/11/2011

Everyone likes a good lawyer joke ... even lawyers with a sense of humor.

Here are some Q & A lawyer jokes that made me laugh.  Hopefully no one will be offended.

Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A: A jury.

Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand